Eh, nagparamdam na sya.
Last week, it was Wednesday I had a
nightmare. Really bad dream. When I woke up, I texted Ate, then I cried.
Then I texted him. I texted him not sa viber, on his cellphone talaga.
Was trembling sa takot, I just want him to know na naisip ko sya bigla
after ng bad dream ko. Naisip ko sya na, what if na-deds ako sa pagtulog
ko, as in never ko na sya makakausap/makikita or at least ma-inform sya
that I love him.
Unexpectedly, I received a message from him sa
viber that morning. He just said pasensya na, akala nya na-hack daw ni
Avegail yun viber nya. She messaged daw lahat nung mga nakaka-chat nya,
blah blah blah. Sabi ko lang di ko gets. Hahaha and I asked if
na-receive nya text ko. Didnt answer na.
Thursday after, he called
me on viber. May message pala sya but di nag-notify, so he called.
Saying he didnt get my message and ano daw panaginip ko.
So slight
kinuwento ko sa kanya panaginip ko. And weird nya kausap, kase parang
walang nangyari. Parang di sya nawala ng almost 3 weeks. And then sabi
nya message message na lang daw coz baka makatulugan nya ako, past 5am
pa lang daw don. Sabi ko sige, then ni-forward ko yun text ko. Nag-worry
sya, baket daw ako nanaginip ng ganon, buti raw mababaw tulog ko.
Later
on sabi nya "tabi ka na lang saken bilis". Sabi ko "that was yesterday
pa, i'm ok na" then baka raw makatulog na sya ulet, so sabi ko go back
to sleep. At ang fave nya pang lambing "paamoy" followed by "mwah" I
just replied with an smiley emoticon. Then I didnt hear from him na
ulet.
Saturday, he called me at 6 in the morning. Akala nya ata
may pasok ako. Hahha he's on his way home. We talked for less than an
hour.
Nakapagkwentuhan kame kahit papano. I told him that I went
to the beach on weekend, he said baket di ako nag send ng pictures. I
was like "nagpapatawa ka ba? Diba di tayo nag uusap?"
Ayun, sinabi
na nya yun about his text ng wednesday. And then "hindi pala madali
makipaghiwalay pag sa Pilipinas ka kinasal", he talked to the girl daw
and he said to her "maghiwalay na tayo", she said daw na "pag naghiwalay
tayo, ikaw ang gagastos sa lahat. Sisiguraduhin ko may makukuha ako
sayo" and sisiraan daw nya si Constancio sa babae na isusunod sa kanya.
So I guess, walang hiwalayang mangyayari :(
He never said sorry
for being gone. The only explanation he has was that he thought his
accounts were hacked. Hindi sya nagme-message thinking makikita ni
Avegail. Hindi rin nya ako ma-text using his number, kase lalabas sa
bill nya. And sa email nya dumarating statement nya.
So binaba namin, kase he's home na. He said he'll call again kase lipat na sya sa wifi, and he called me "Baby" again.
But, he never called.
On
Sunday, I tried messaging him on viber, and he just replied with
"pakagat", sumagot ako ng "kagat ka dyan", "musta". Just delivered.
Its Monday, and di ko alam ano na meron later. If he will call me again or magte-text ba sya.
Ano
na status namin? Ano na meron kame? Does he still wants me? May
feelings pa ba sya? Uuwi pa ba sya? Magkikita pa rin ba kame? Paano na
sila?
Laki ng talo ko dito. Wala naman pala ako aasahan. Hindi ako magiging number 2 again. NO!
BUT,
I love him. Or maybe yun thought na lang? Or maybe kase akala ko na
lang? I really dont know. As of now, magparamdam sya kung magpaparamdam,
kung hindi eh di hindi. Last night will be the last message na ise-send
ko (I sent him a good morning text on viber hahaha). Kinaya ko na ng 19
days, kakayanin ko pa! Gumawa sya ng paraan kung gusto nya talaga ako.
Hindi na ako papayag na isa lang akong "part time" or "filler". I
deserve better.
